Monday, December 19, 2011

Moss


Over the last few years I have gained a true love for the world of flora. I discovered that with the right knowledge, anyone can have a greenthumb or at least appreciate the complexities of the plant world. With the help of my Biology lab partner and his love for plants, I started to collect and care for various houseplants. Bryophytes, or mosses are among my favorite classifications of plants. Mosses are unique because they do not have a vascular system as other plants do. This means they cannot "drink" water as they have no internal vessels, or veins. They must instead absorb water from the environment through their leaves. The moist temperate rainforests of my environment in the Pacific Northwest are the perfect place for many species of moss to thrive.  

Weird...maybe, but I happen to love moss...it grew on me...

The first time I looked at moss in a microscope during my Majors Biology course in college I fell for it. It was absolutely beautiful. Surprisingly it is made up of thousands of microscopic leaves, each one perfectly formed. What's not to be appreciated?  The many shades of mossy green, yellow, chartreuse, puse and even black. These are some of my favorite colors hands down. Various mosses decorate my local ecosystem by covering the surface of nearly everything. Different species find their homes on live trees, fallen logs, river rocks, and forest floors.

                                        

Here are some photos I have taken:


Irish Moss with tiny flowers





These species I do not know, but they are still really cool. I had never seen this black and green one.

'Tis the Season, Part II

After picking Marcus up from his short deployment about a week and a half ago, life started to get somewhat back to normal for us (whatever that means). We spent a few days just being together (this is what is normal... yes, just being together). We went downtown, explored some new restaurants (honing in on our chopsticking skills) and enjoyed the Holiday festivites in Fairhaven (a neighborhood in Bellingham), with a free ride in a horse carriage. We tried to get Ben's picture taken with the grinch at the local bookstore, but he wouldn't go near the guy!


Nice, France
I've been living vicariously through Marcus' trip to the Cote de' Azur in France (Marseilles, Cannes and Nice) and Monaco...it's gorgeous! He said it was by far the best port he had ever been to...and he took some great pictures...here are just a few!


Cannes

Beer...of course



















Monaco
















                                         Oh, that's just a Bentley...

                                                                            
This week has been rather low-key, as life seems to be these days. Our pace of life has been so slow since September that it's ridiculous. I'm finding myself spending more and more time surfing the net and am now completely addicted to pinterest.com (you can pin any photos you find online to different "pin boards" with the simple click of a button) It's a personal collection of things one finds aesthetically pleasing....We did have a nice family outing out along the Mount Baker Highway just outside of Bellingham. It's absolutely beautiful, and the surprisingly warm weather even allowed a little hike along the crystal clear Nooksack River. Aside from that the usual daily activites of running errands, prepping for the holidays and our move are keeping us rather busy...with plenty of time to procrastinate in between.


Our intention was to find snow so Benjamin could as he put it "throw snowballs at mommy", but since we left the house a bit late we started to run out of daylight at around 3:30 p.m. and headed back towards home. Since we didn't make it up to the summit, we saw none. We'll just have to try again another day.

I have been continuing in my baking endeavors. I have made 3 batches of Oreo truffles (recipe follows)...these things are so good they're wrong. My husband can not control himself around them. I think I have to refuse to make any more...



Ridiculous Oreo Truffles (both ridiculously easy, and delicious!)

1 Package Oreo's (any flavor)
I 8 oz. package cream cheese, softened
Almond bark, or chocolate of choice

1. Split all oreos in half, you will use the cookie and cream. In a food processor, process oreo's until they are a fine crumb.
2. In a bowl mix cream cheese with Oreo crumbs, can use a hard wooden spoon to press together- but I am impatient so I used the best tools I own, my hands.
3. Roll mixture into 1' balls and place on wax paper lined cookie sheet. Place in fridge while you melt the almond bark, or choclate according to the package.
4. Dip oreo balls into the melted chocolate and place in fridge until shell is hardened. Store in airtight container in fridge.

I have also made shortbread cookies, gingerbread men, lemon ricotta meltaways, cashew candies and fully decorated sugar cookies...and last night I made meringues....I think I'm done... I'm just tired of looking at, smelling and tasting sugary treats at this point. It just feels too gluttonous at this point...done.




So pretty!

Now that I'm done with baking, I'm just going to get through the next week...and then I guess I really have to start prepping for this move. Yay! We should have our first of three pack-outs sometime in January. Time to yet again purge the apartment of furniture and other un-necessaries...

We will not be sending out Holiday cards this year...it's just too late at this point. I'll let this blog serve as our Holiday greeting to fmily and friends.

                                Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays... Our Love To You All!


Wednesday, December 7, 2011

'Tis the Season for Holiday Baking

        In my state of voluntary denial (regarding the enormous life changes looming in the background), I have been trying to get in the mood for this holiday season. So I have decided to bake until I can bake no more (and make some christmas ornaments). Although, I still don't quite know who's going to be eating all this stuff I'm making quite an abundant assortment. One strategy I have engaged is to make things that I cannot eat. In fact, I thoroughly contaminated my kitchen with peanut butter cookie dough this morning! I made a batch of my husband's very favorite Peanut butter kisses. I had to write a new recipe for this however, because despite the plethora of available recipes online, I just wasn't satisfied with anything I could find. Even mom's trusty peanut butter cookie recipe wasn't doing it for me. Sorry Mom! Though I did take a few cues from it, the cinnamon being the main one. Here it is the new and improved, and higher-fiber version:

Holiday Peanut Butter Kisses

In a small bowl goes:
1 1/2 c. whole wheat flour
1 1/2 c. All Purpose flour
1 tsp. kosher salt
1 tsp. cinnamon
1 tsp. baking soda
- set this aside

In another small bowl:
unwrap about 60 Hershey's kisses( I just do the whole bag and leave the rest for snacking).

In mixer or mixing bowl:
1 c. unsalted butter, softened
3/4 c. peanut butter (I used chunky)
- cream together until well blended
Then add in:
 1 cup of light brown sugar and 2 tsp. vanilla, and stir to combine.
Then add in 2 eggs, one at a time until well incorporated. Whip on medium-high speed until fluffy.
-Now, add the dry ingredients slowly, about 1/2c. or so at a time and remember to scrape the sides of the bowl when necessary.

* Preheat your oven to 350 degrees. For the best looking cookies roll 1-1 1/2 inch balls of dough and place on a lightly grease cookie sheet. Bake until the bottoms are golden brown and cookies look firm and matte (about 10 minutes).
Once you pull the cookies out of the oven, press a kiss into the center of each cookie. The kisses will melt into the cookie, once they are cooled and the kisses harden up again you can store for future enjoyment!


mmm....they sure look good, I wish I could taste them...

Here are the ornaments I've managed to finish so far. They're pretty cute, and it keep my hands busy. There's something slightly therapeutic about punching needles into beads and sequins and styrofoam balls...and I now hate hot glue...with a passion.


We also made Coconut Cranberry Macaroons as well, recipe courtesy Ina Garten from food network.com. Though we skipped out on the orange zest (didn't think grapefruit would taste very good). They are really crunchy, toasty and yummy! Dare I dip a few in chocolate?

Such a good helper!

         
Time to clean up the kitchen...  :(

Thursday, October 6, 2011

An Examination of Death and Physician Assisted Suicide

       The American population is very heterogeneous; in other words Americans are very diverse. American people come from all different backgrounds, cultures, philosophies, and religious or spiritual beliefs. It is this diversity which makes America unique, and some may even say the best place to live in the world. This country was built on the promises of life, liberty, independence, and most importantly freedom. But does that freedom find its limits when people are faced with death?
 An ongoing debate surrounds the practice of physician-assisted suicide (PAS); the debate is whether or not to allow certain patients with terminal illnesses the option to choose when they die. This controversy broadly encompasses aspects of healthcare, economics, civil rights, ethics, and religious beliefs. It is fair to say that because this issue deals with illness, dying and death, many people are quick to make assumptions regarding PAS based on their personal beliefs even if they do not fully understand the rationality behind this issue. However, the option for a patient to choose when to die is a matter of personal freedom and liberty. Based on the promising data from over a decade's worth of experience with the Oregon Death with Dignity Act (ODDA), all U.S. states should enact similar policies that allow for the strategic authorization of physician-assisted suicide.
        In November of 1998, The CBS television show 60 Minutes unknowingly aired the death of Thomas Youk to a national audience; the audience watched as Dr. Jack Kevorkian injected the man suffering from amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (ALS), more commonly known as Lou Gehrig's disease, with a lethal dose of medication and after a minute or so die. Despite the Youk families’ satisfaction with Dr. Kevorkian's assistance, he was arrested, tried, and convicted of manslaughter (Green 2). According to Howard Brody, the mistake that the aptly nicknamed ‘Dr. Death’ made was that what he had performed on video was not an assisted-suicide, it was a “mercy killing.” Youk's illness completely incapacitated him; he wanted Kevorkian's help because he was afraid that his own saliva would soon cause him to choke to death. ALS works by slowly shutting down the nervous and muscular systems of the body paralyzing the victim until their hearts stops beating (Green 1).  Though the body becomes completely immobile, the mind is unaffected by the disease. Youk was unable to swallow, much less push a button to administer the lethal medication as were some one-hundred plus of Kevorkian's prior patients. Unfortunately, this is where the line between assisted-suicide and euthanasia are drawn (Brody). Assisted-suicide is when it is legal for a doctor to write a prescription for a lethal dose of medication, usually barbiturates, to terminal patients. The doctor cannot administer the drugs to the patient; the patient must willingly take the medication on his/her own (Westefeld et al. 161). Kevorkian’s methods were attention grabbing and unconventional to say the least, but many felt very strongly that what he was doing was dignified. Unfortunately his methods served as his dissolution. As mentioned by Howard Brody, "advocates for legalising assisted suicide in the United States had for many years had been putting as much distance between their movement and the activities of Jack Kevorkian".
        American culture (that of a post-modern industrialized western nation), is for the large part a death-fearing culture. According to Deborah T. Gold, during the twentieth century life expectancy nearly doubled. “In 1900, death occurred throughout life … [and] families managed death and dying. Now, in the twenty-first century America is death-aversive.” As a culture, Americans turn their sick and dying over to institutions with professionals whom we pay to care for them. Even though death is more likely to occur later in life we are more afraid of death than ever before (235). When death and dying took place within the network of the family and home, adults were not able protect their children from the painful experiences of death as they do now. Children would have been better accustomed to death and dying, and therefore able to adequately deal with loss (237).
       How Americans deal with death and dying is not the only thing that has changed over the last century. Diseases now progress much more slowly. Whereas people in the 1900s most frequently died of acute illnesses like tuberculosis and influenza--they are now more likely to die from things like heart disease and cancer.  These changes are no doubt the result of industrialization and advances in medical technology like vaccines. However, the problem now is that the process of dying is much slower and often persists for extended periods of time (237).
       After World War II the funeral industry began its exponential growth into a highly profitable business; large profits could be made from services like cremation, burial, grave-plots, and embalming. “Costs rose dramatically as new expectations emerged: the best coffin, the strongest vault, the prime cemetery plot” (237). Yet, despite the financial burdens of a funeral, families were more than happy to distance themselves from the experiences of being responsible for the care of the dead (237). “As death moved into the hands of healthcare professionals, individuals were no longer desensitized from direct contact with death. Ultimately, we have become ignorant about death, and ignorance breeds fear” (240).
       “In the 1800s, 80% of people died at home”, while they were surrounded by family members (Gold, 237). By 2010, 80% of people died from chronic illnesses in healthcare facilities (Marchione). When people die in a hospital they are less likely to be in the company of family. This also relieves family members of witnessing suffering--which is the most prominent reason for being hospitalized.  Most dying patients want to avoid severe pain. Hospitalization allows better access to pain relief and life-saving treatments (LSTs). It also allows families to demand that doctors "do everything" they can to relieve suffering; however, the use of LSTs and other medical technology usually extends the time it takes for a patient to die (Gold 238), and it is often done no matter what the cost is.  "Americans increasingly are treated to death… trying last-ditch treatments that often buy only weeks of time and racking up bills that have made medical care a leading cause of bankruptcies" (Marchione). The ideal of a "good death" has become something people can aim to buy and medical facilities can promote and profit from. "The belief that patient death is a failure of the physician and medical system is patently false, yet the American public, to some degree, believes that, with enough technology and skill, American physicians can cure all medical ills" (Gold 243). As a culture, Americans long for miracles, and hope to be the one exception to dire statistics; they discourage surrendering, and revere people who go down fighting. While, what we should encourage is helping people to find acceptance and maybe even some peace with dying as it is an inescapable counterpart to living (Marchione). In other words, Americans place an indefinite amount of value on life with little thought as to what actually constitutes living.   Palliative care is medical care or treatment that focuses on depressing the severity of pain or symptoms of disease and to relieve suffering at the end of life. The goal of palliative care is to improve quality of life by providing physical as well as spiritual comfort at the end of life. Also known as hospice care it is the only option for many patients deemed terminal.  The use of sophisticated medical technology and LSTs in hospice care has not only increased the overall duration of death, but in doing so has increased the health care costs at the end of patients' lives. The rate of “hospitalizations during the last six-months of life are rising”, as of 2005 there were 1,441 hospitalizations per every 1,000 Medicare patients; while LSTs in the last few years of a patients life accounts for almost 35 percent of gross Medicare funds (Marchione). Less than ten years from now, the cost of artificial respiration alone is expected to "reach an inflation-adjusted cost of more than $64 billion" (Gold 238). It is also apparent that the more sophisticated medical technology becomes, the cost of dying and life-saving treatments (LSTs) also increases.  When the cost of healthcare goes up, the bracket of people who have access to it goes down. The American people simply cannot assume that every dying patient will have the means to pay for costly end-of-life treatments. If the government is also unwilling or unable to provide medical coverage to everyone, that includes coverage of the costs of prolonging death or LST's, people need alternate options. The harsh reality is that healthcare costs will most certainly be a factor for many lower class families, and those families need other options to consider. While allowing PAS is by no means a financial remedy for anything, nor is it the decision most people will make; it could be the right option for a few patients-- if they so choose. Overall, it is apparent that more choices need to be made available for medical patients.
In the late 1960s, a lawyer named Luis Kutner proposed the idea that people write what he called "living wills." These documents would show an individual’s wishes regarding medical treatment in case of illness or injury that might leave him/her unable to make sound decisions. This issue did not gain widespread publicity until the case of Karen Ann Quinlan in 1976. While at a social gathering, Quinlan had mixed tranquilizers with alcohol; this caused her severe brain damage which put her into what is medically termed, a "persistent vegetative state" (Ditto and Koleva). Karen's parents did not want to keep her attached to the machines that kept her alive and they requested she be removed from them. Out of fear of any legal liabilities the hospital involved the courts who ultimately ruled in favor of Quinlan's parents. “The court granted her parents' request for removal of the respirator, finding that it [not doing so] infringed on Quinlan's right to privacy protected under the Constitution” (Ditto and Koleva). This court ruling was significant “because it concluded that not only did a competent person have a constitutionally protected right to refuse life-sustaining treatment" but that rule would still apply to those who don’t have the cognitive ability to exercise that right (Ditto and Koleva). Karen Quinlan's parents acted as a proxy, on her behalf, and she died shortly after.
       After the similar death of 24 year-old Nancy Cruzan, the Supreme Court ruled that every citizen “has the right to refuse unwanted treatments for any reason, even if it hastens death” (Girsh).  Because Cruzan did not have a “living will,” the state of Missouri challenged her parents' petition to remove her from life support. The state demanded “clear and convincing” evidence of Cruzan’s wishes (Ditto and Koleva). This case served as an example of the problems that having some kind of advance directive can help to alleviate. Court’s ultimately ruled in Cruzan’s favor. The controversy surrounding this case accelerated the issue of patient’s rights. In 1990 the Patient Self-Determination Act was passed. The act made it so that hospitals must familiarize patients of their rights to make medical decisions in advance, or to choose a person as a proxy (one who can make decisions on their behalf). It also allows patients the choice to accept or deny any medical care or LSTs, whether or not the decision accelerates dying.  During the end of the twentieth century all fifty states passed similar laws (Ditto and Koleva). "Thanks to the laws allowing patients to refuse medical treatment and the growing availability of hospice care, we have more control over how we die. The changes happened because people demanded better care and more options at the end of life… but they still haven't gone far enough" (Girsh 2).
Oregon passed the Death with Dignity Act (ODDA) in 1997. It was the first state to allow physician-assisted suicide to be an option for some. John S. Westefeld, Alissa Doobay, Jennifer Hill, Clare Humphreys, Riddhi Sandil, and Benjamin Tallman detailed that in 2009 the most common reasons for patients to request PAS "included a decreasing ability to participate in activities that made life enjoyable, loss of dignity, and loss of autonomy" (self-governance). They also explain the most frequent medical conditions which lead to PAS as being ALS, AIDS/HIV, and malignant neoplasms or cancer (161-2). Lack of proper pain management is another, less significant, reason some choose this option (Cohen 60).
The ODDA allows patients who have less than six months to live to request a lethal prescription be written for them. The criteria for patients to qualify are rigid and very specific. Patients must first qualify to request the prescription. In order to do this they must be a legal resident of the state of Oregon over 18 years old; they must also be considered competent to make healthcare decisions and have been diagnosed with a terminal illness expected to result in death in no more than six months. If patients qualify to ask for the prescription, they must make two verbal requests to their physician that are fifteen days apart from each other. Qualifying patients must also provide a written request that has been “signed in the presence of two witnesses” to their physician (Westefeld et al. 161-2). “At least one of the witnesses” is not to be be associated to the patient personally, or attached to the medical facility in which they are cared for (161-2). “The prescribing physician and a consulting physician must agree on the diagnosis” as well as the patients' mental status. All options available to the patient like hospice and pain management must be discussed with him/her. If at any time either doctor feels the patient could be impaired by psychological issues such as depression, they can send him/her for a psychological examination. It is vital that a trained physician be involved in this process so assurances can be made that procedures will be followed according to the law, as well as “to ensure the patient is making an informed decision” (162). As a further matter of regulation, it is necessary for the attending doctors to report all lethal prescriptions written under the Act to the Oregon Department of Human Services where after a 48 hour waiting period the prescription can finally be administered.
       The statistical information and annual reports regarding the ODDA are made available to the public on the internet; this allows anyone to review the current statistics regarding Oregon’s experience with the law (161-2). Washington State was the second to pass its Death with Dignity act in 2009, making some slight revisions to the terms in the law. Montana followed as the third state to legalize PAS in 2010. It is becoming clear that laws allowing people the option to choose when they die will continue to gain support.
  Many who oppose allowing PAS fear the situation could ultimately turn awry in many ways; some concerns are whether allowing PAS is ethical, whether these policies could be used to target certain groups at a social disadvantage like the disabled, or even that it could lead down the "slippery slope" to widespread euthanasia or genocide (Cohen 59). At the most extreme, some who oppose PAS have gone so far as comparing those laws to the policies of Nazi Germany. James Boehnlein points out Nazi policies that "medicalized" killing had some similarities to the ODDA. Regarding Nazi policies he wrote, "the authors of Nazi policy professionalized and medicalized the process, describing the doctor's legal responsibility in 'death assistance' of the incurably ill, the mentally ill, and the mentally retarded"(8). He points out that the Nazis too had a carefully planned and controlled process in which patient consent was required; and that Nazi policies also included doctors, lawyers, and psychiatrists (8). However, the weakness in this comparison was the fact that the Nazi policy left too much room in regards to who qualified as "mentally ill or retarded." They failed to define what constituted "mentally ill, "or "retarded" as well as in what condition an individual must be in. Both issues of which the Oregon law has clearly avoided, as the law only pertains to those with a terminal illness.
One must also consider the prominent ideology during the time of Nazi Germany; prejudice and racism were blatantly rampant. Blame for any problem was placed upon a person's supposed race or ethnic group and usually based on stereotypes. This is no longer the case. In America racism does still exist, but it is not always so obvious. However, there is enough common knowledge and scientific backing to stop any public policy that might unfairly target a social race or minority group in such a destructive manner. While this seems a genuine concern with any policy that allows euthanasia as a practice, this point does not apply to the current laws that simply allow a patient the right to ask for life-ending medication. Under the current U.S. laws euthanasia is strictly forbidden; it is illegal for a physician to feed or inject anyone with life ending medications. The patient must self-administer the lethal prescription and if he/she is unable to do so then he/she cannot qualify to request the prescription in the first place (Westefeld et al.161).
       The disability-rights community has also expressed much concern in regards to PAS. In a personal account Dr. Roy Amundson and Gayle Taira of the University of Hawaii tell the stories of how they reversed their initial positions of accepting PAS to discrediting its morality.  Both authors have faced severe and traumatic physical disability and in their experience came to realize that the fear of being disabled is the mechanism pushing in favor of PAS. They both offer unique insight to the experiences and trials of being a disabled person. In the U.S. disability is looked down upon, and often people thoughtlessly feel that they would "rather die than have someone else wipe their butt"(56).  Information from the 2002 Annual Report from Oregon is used to back up their claims. They cite the top three reasons recipients request the lethal prescription are "losing autonomy, decreasing ability to participate in activities that make life enjoyable, and loss of bodily functions" (56). Granted these are all aspects that the authors and many other disabled persons face daily; this does not make the fear that PAS might target the physically disabled legitimate. The major difference in each situation is that while the authors are living with these same kinds of disabilities, they are, however, fully-functioning individuals and are not facing an inevitable death within less than six-months. PAS is not the problem they face- it is instead the common negative view of disability itself. This is a different matter altogether, one that might be remedied with time, education and compassion; it has no real relevance in whether or not individuals already facing death should be able to choose when to die.
       The statistics from Oregon's Annual Report of the ODDA have not validated any of the concerns laid out by the opponents of these laws. "The strict guidelines and careful data sets have had a reassuring impact regarding this "social experiment"' (Cohen 59).The data from the experience with the ODDA has proven anything but what opponents had predicted. In the thirteen years since the law has been in practice a total of around 750 patients have requested the lethal prescription of barbiturates and only 525 patients actually took the medication. The data also shows that 97.9% of the recipients were white, 1.3% were Asian and other ethnic groups account for the other 0.8%. 77% were between the ages of 55-84 years, and over 68% were college educated. None of the recipients were only physically disabled, few were from minority groups and all of them were dying from terminal illnesses (Oregon State). This information alone further disproves any claim that PAS would become a way to rid the country of the poor or any other minority group.
       There are many interpretations of the probable outcomes of allowing physician-assisted suicide; the problem is that, those interpretations cannot not be made based on our personal experience, biases, and opinions or they are assumptions. Americans come from so many backgrounds and each one of us will have our own unique experiences in life that will lead us to interpretations and opinions regarding public policies, and that is acceptable. What cannot be done, however, is making the assumption that those opinions will work for every individual in such a large and diverse community. The nice thing about having choices is that one does not have to take advantage of them unless he/she wants to.
   There have not been many solutions offered to arguments over PAS. It is more of a all-or- nothing situation because it is a decision that gives people the right to make a choice, rather than a policy to enforce upon all citizens. Disallowing PAS altogether could force many terminal patients to endure prolonged suffering despite a rational wish to die peacefully. One solution offered up by opponents has been to make palliative care better. While this is a great suggestion and something those in the medical field should strive for, it is also something that could take a lot of time. Also, while many Americans tend to feel as though technology will always have an answer, it is not that simple. People cannot look to technology to solve every problem because there are underlying connotations to that kind of thinking, not to mention ridiculous costs. Undoubtedly, there will always be some medical cases where technology finds its limit and while work is done to bridge the gap between technological advances and physical afflictions we will need another alternative.
Allowing people the ability to choose when to die has proven to be successful in Oregon State; in some cases merely having the option has seemingly helped patients. In discussing the common reasons that patients in Oregon requested a lethal prescription, Michael Cohen makes the observation that a rather large (28%) number of patients, “actually receiving the prescription never take it” (60). He also suggests that this “appears to support the idea that patients want a measure of control over the process more than possessing an innate desire to die." In the past thirteen years that the ODDA has been enacted, it has simply not become the impending doom situation of copious unchecked suicides or murders in hospitals that so many early opponents anticipated. Instead, the ODDA has served the purpose it was intended to serve--allowing those facing imminent death to choose when to die, while whatever they define as their dignity is intact.
While physician-assisted suicide may not be the right choice for everyone, it can be a rational and even merciful option for some. We must realize that death is unavoidable, and no amount of money or technology can change that. We must learn to confront the experiences of death and dying, rather than to avoid it at all costs. What is often idealized as a “good death” simply does not exist, but with proper care, planning, and some courage we can confront dying and help people to do it well. Limiting patients’ choices goes against the promises of freedom, and liberty set forth by the Constitution. As quoted by Fay Girsh, poet Archibald MacLeish wrote, "‘Freedom is the right to choose: the right to create for yourself the alternative of choice. Without the possibility of choice and the exercise of choice, a man is not a man but a member, and instrument, a thing.’"
                                                 Works Cited
Amundson, Ron, and Gayle Taira. "Our Lives and Ideologies: The Effect of Life Experience             on the Perceived Morality of the Policy of Physician-Assisted Suicide." Journal of           Disability Policy Studies 16.1(2005): 53-7. Proquest. 12. Feb. 2011.
Boehnlein, James K. "The Case Against Physician Assisted Suicide." Community Mental        Health Journal 35.1(1999):5-14. Proquest. Web. 12 Feb. 201.
Brody, Howard. "Kevorkian and Assisted Death in the United States: The Ethical Debate       Drags on but Fuels Efforts to Improve End-of-Life Care." British Medical Journal        318.7189 (1999):953-4. Proquest. Web. 23 Jan. 2011.
Cohen, Michael J. "The Empire Strikes Back: The People of Washington State Revisit the Death with Dignity Act." Journal of Physician Assistant Education 19.3 (2008):57-62. EBSCOhost. Web. 21 Jan. 2011.
Ditto, Peter H., and Spassena Koleva. "Advance Directives and End-of-Life Decision        Making." Encyclopedia of Medical Decision Making. 2009. SAGE. Web. 31 Jan. 2011.
Girsh, Fay. "Death with Dignity: Choices and Challenges." USA Today Mar. 2000: 62-4.        Proquest. Web. 11 Jan. 2011.
Gold, Deborah T. "Late-Life Death and Dying in 21st Century America." Handbook of Aging          and Social Sciences.7th ed. Elevesier: n.p., 2011. 235-47. Science Direct. Web. 21 Jan.          2011.
Green, James W. Beyond the Good Death: The Anthropology of Modern Dying. Philedelphia:          U of Pennsylvania P, 2008. Print.
Marchione, Marilynn. "Americans Treated, and Overtreated, to Death." Topeka Capital        Journal 28 Jun. 2010. 15. Proquest. Web. 30 Jan. 2011.
Oregon State. Oregon Public Health Division. Characteristics and End-of-Life Care of 525
DWDA Patients Who Died After Ingesting a Lethal Dose of Medication as of Jan.7, 2011 by Year, Oregon, 1998-2011. Table 1. 2011. Web. 12 Jan. 2011.
Weissler, Judy. "Landmark Court Ruling/ 'Right to Die' Ban Is Upheld/ But Justices Hint that
States Can Legalize Assisted Suicide." Houston Chronicle 27 Jun. 1997. A1-5. Proquest. Web. 11 Feb. 2011.
     Westefeld, John S., et al. " The Oregon Death with Dignity Act: The Right to Live or the                                               Right to Die?" Journal of Loss and Trauma 14(2009): 161-9. EBSCOhost. Web. 11 Jan. 2011.




Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Motherhood (or any other label) does not define me, I define myself…

Inspired by a post on Offbeat Mama (http://offbeatmama.com/2011/05/being-a-mom)
This blog entry was just what I needed to hear today. I consider myself to be an “offbeat mama”- I am a Liberal, Neo-Marxist, tattooed, honors college student (studying an atypical major- Anthropology), Atheist, Anti-racist, Evolutionist, cultural critic, home cook, military wife and oh yeah- I also have a kid.
Let me take you back about a decade, I grew up (since 6) a Navy brat, we moved around every 18 months or 3 years. I struggled with Clinical depression from the age of 15 and I barely graduated high school, but somehow I managed to get good enough grades through my marijuana induced/ reduced attention span (and my interests in biology and politics). When I left that town at 19, I didn’t look back (though there are a few good friends I wish I’d kept in touch with). After a brief stay with my big sister in Wisconsin and a crappy job at a shoe store, I married a Sailor (actually my first and only love) and he took off to sea for 6 months. So pretty much, I was 19, married and “street smart” with a crappy retail job….don’t get me wrong- it was fun at the time and is fulfilling for some people, but I knew I was capable of and needed to get more out of life. Five years later, a lot of ups and downs in our marriage and we finally figured life out and learned to co-exist in what I like to call an egalitarian partnership. After I was diagnosed with endometriosis and feared eventual infertility (by 30) we decided to try for a child since it could take years (said the doctor)….probably around 48 hours later a tiny sperm made its way into an ovum somewhere’s down in my reproductive system…and about 10 months, 45 hours of labor and an Emergency C-section later…I was a mom. Mind you a physically, and mentally, exhausted and traumatized one at the time. About a week later when I started really waking up it was just like ok…I have a kid…now what?
               A few weeks later, the candidate of my choice (Barack Obama) was elected president, as I was watching the results on tv. I sat on the couch holding my tiny son, and I cried. I cried (mostly because of raging hormones), but also because I felt for once, that maybe this country might have the chance to see some of the changes that I felt (and still feel) desperately need to happen. After all, a man with African heritage had been elected in a country with a torrentially racist history. It was a few months later when we moved, that I decided to go to college. I decided that I couldn’t put my life off anymore, not for the military and most importantly because I had a child. Besides, I nearly went nuts as a stay-at-home mom, major props to those of you who do/ did it! In the future I want my son to have parents that can be there to help him with his high school homework, to encourage him to strive for a college education, and to provide an open-minded and loving environment for him to grow and develop as a human being . But overall, I’m doing it for myself. I want to be informed, I love knowledge- truthfully, I’m kind of addicted to learning because it empowers me and makes me feel alive.  I discovered later, that I also really needed to prove to myself that I was good enough and truly capable of achieving something with hard work and devotion. The understanding that I have gained in only 2 years has upended the way I see the world and changed my life…I can hardly fathom what it must be like to earn a PhD.
               I guess what I’m trying to say is this. Being a mother is amazing and it brings a lot of joy into life, but to me it is not a unique enough experience to be the only thing that defines me. Billions of other female primates in this world rear their offspring because it is in their nature and biology too. What I do think is pretty unique about me is how much I love learning about various subjects- which I never thought I would based on my past. College is what you make of it, and I’ve taken in everything I wanted, and maybe discarded some things along the way too. I think that labels tend to oversimplify that which can be very complex, i.e. my dog Frank is not just a dog, he is also a companion, confident, and friend among other things.
I have had people say to me, “I am a good person because I’m a - - insert label here - -.” Whether we are Christian, Agnostic, Buddhist, Mother, Father, Soldier, Businessman, Republican, Democrat, Black, White, Ape, or Dog …we are also much, much more. Labels have definitions, and definitions are adaptable just like people. They invariably change, and so do we. Labels often come along with stereotypes, and stereotypes are based on perceptions. If you hear that I am a tattooed, atheist – you might judge me. Would you guess that I’m a military wife, or that most of the men in my family three generations back have “served their country”, or that I am a straight-A college student with pretty good finances? People are more complex than labels- we are all trying to repress our nature to suit our culture, so much so that we don’t know which is which or how to define either. At the end of the day I am satisfied because I know that I am happy, healthy and can truly say that I know and love who I am, and I know that I am a good person because I am always striving to be better and unafraid of changing. No label can cover all of that.
                                             “Nothing endures but change”- Heraclitus